Zachary Nathanael Wiggs and Faith

Well well, where to start? I'm sure most of you reading this know a little of what is going on right now. If not, here's what's up:

My nephew, Zachary Nathanael Wiggs, was born on October 26th to the most amazing parents ever(not just cause they are my kenfolk either), and passed away unexpectedly on October 30th. We have no reason, no disease, no mishap and nothing/no one to blame his death on, which can be hard to comprehend at times. I have resolved to accept it as God's plan and sovereign will for Zachary's life.

I obviously have had many thoughts go through my head the past 5 days as I digest and deal with not only my enormous hurt and grief, but my brother and sister in law's pain and the rest of our family's pain. I might as well share them with you...

I want to address my faith in this post, the next one will be all of the wonderful thoughts and memories of Zachary I have and had when Zachary was born, etc.

Many people say it is okay to "question God". I put this in quotation marks because the wording can be taken in 2 different ways and I hold an opinion that says only one is okay(for now at least). I believe to question God is not okay. From personal experience with hardships in the past, I unfortunately chose this path once before, and hated it. I believe to ask God why in a sense of "Lord why did you let this happen?" is to question God's character, authority, and in essence, allows a small amount of doubt to creep in. In my experience a couple of years ago, satan grabbed that little bit of doubt and drug me down, I questioned my faith and everything else I had ever been 100% sure about. It was awful, and only by God's grace did I get through. If you are a child of God, He will not let you go. He continued to bring me to his word, and it was my daily bread, even through doubting. Sry, got off on a tangent, but that explains why I don't know that asking God "why?" in that sense, is healthy. Give satan a foothold when he's already out to "steal, kill, and destroy" you, and you are in for a tough ride.

Tell me what you think about the previous paragraph....I wrestle with a lot of thoughts and continue to run to scripture with my questions, you might have insight or answers I've not yet been shown or given...or perhaps if you know me, you can suggest I reword this paragraph to make more sense to communicate what I believe. :)

The question I believe is okay to ask God is "What is your purpose in this Lord? Because surely you do not willingly bring affliction upon your children(lamentations 3). Your word says you are loving, full of compassion and slow to anger. You must have some purpose in taking Zachary's life that will bring you glory and fame?" That is what I am thinking. God created us to glorify and praise Him. He is all knowing and His ways and thoughts are higher than my ways and thoughts(Isaiah 55:8-9). When Job questioned God, God responded..."where were you when the foundations of the earth were formed." hmmm The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

That last paragraph was hard to write. I believe and trust in God and His Word. But that doesn't take away the pain and the fact that I am still hurting, really really bad. My heart hurts so bad I cannot explain it. I ask those questions and wait in expectation for God to reveal His plan and purpose in all this. May I have opportunities through my precious Zachary to share God's name with others and how Jesus Christ rescued me from eternal death.

Death came into this world because Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit God forbid them to eat. This is the first occasion sin entered the world, and we(decedents of Adam) have been sinful ever since. BUT, Death has been conquered by Jesus Christ on the Cross and this gives me the hope that I will see Zachary again one day, because I have trusted that Christ paid for my sins on the Cross and has given me eternal life, even when this earthly life is over.

If you have questions about any of this, feel free to ask me, I ain't skeered. :)

whew, I feel so scattered right now...more to come on my experience(s) with Zachary, my precious, sweet, beautiful nephew...