Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm a DORK

In my most recent post below, I mentioned that I had lost the first Haiti trip update...well I stumbled upon it and published it. It is 2 below this one. Who knew there was an automatic save on drafts? Apparently not me. Learn something new every day.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Haiti and Thoughts

I feel weird blogging. I think its because I feel like it can rob me of vulnerability only God should have access to. But the Lord knows my heart in this and I feel certain he wouldn't mind me blogging. :)

I have an updated note on facebook about my last trip to Haiti at the end of May. I tried to write a post up here about it, and ended up deleting it on accident and got frustrated. So I figured it wasn't supposed to be posted(that's my excuse for letting the frustration win). :) Among several tasks, one thing we accomplished while there, was purchasing the bunk beds mentioned in my previous blog post, with the help and support of many many people. A big thanks to all of them/you out there.

As the Lord continues to provide for the major needs of Orphanage on the Rock(OTR), I am reminded that according to James 1:17, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." I love this truth and characteristic of God.

The needs of OTR have been on my mind and in my heart for months now, as I have taken on the responsibility of fund-raising for some of their most basic needs(food, etc.)...

As time goes on, more desires from Willio and the orphanage arise. They desire new books for school, uniforms, money for summer school apprenticeships, etc. I often get overwhelmed with the desire to provide all these things, and more so with a doubting/frustrated heart. I have recently pondered the fact that it is not my role to provide anything for anybody, I am just a middle man, the messenger. There is much responsibility with being the middle man, but no pressure to create the message/gifts, etc. that the Provider is responsible for getting to the middle man in order to deliver it. There is much peace and freedom for me in this realization. I am only responsible to ask the Provider what the gifts/messages are and where they are going. Sometimes, I don't even have to ask, but rather just answer the question of "Am I willing?" It is my role to be a faithful, willing servant of the Lord and a cheerful giver.

Also, if I can be completely vulnerable and honest... due to what I've read and the perception of Haiti, I fear that I(and those who help me) will get taken advantage of. No matter how much homework you do, or how much you think you are not naive, there is always the chance that you will get "robbed," deceivingly. This fear has been a struggle for me. So, my prayer is that God will continue to faithfully provide me with necessary discernment, wisdom, and faith to carry out the tasks at hand with OTR. I neither want knowledge nor fear to hold me back from demonstrating God's love to people in Haiti. I am working for the Provider, not those who are receiving provision. Once I, the middle man/messenger have accomplished that which the giver of good gifts has told me to do, it is out of my hands and control. Obedience is required of me, not fear. I am compelled to help God's people who are in need, particularly orphans...and nothing should stop it. I am praying for faith to trust God to show me what to do, and know that He will provide the means and protect my heart/his ministry accordingly. I am sharing this, so that if you are a believer in Christ Jesus, you will also pray these things for me.

God is good...

KW

CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO PUT PICTURES WITH MY BLOGS...NOT JUST ON THE SIDE OF MY PAGE(I'm technologically challenged) ? :) THE TOP PICTURE GOES WITH THIS POST, fyi.