Nov. '08 Haiti Trip, part 2

We walked just around the corner to the clinic the two little boys were brought to; only to find out they had severe wounds to their head and some face wounds as well. Their names were David who is 4, and Wildeson(Solomon) who is 6. The resources at this clinic were very limited compared to the severity of the injuries of these little boys and I was very aware of that first thing. Their cries were heard throughout the 4-5 bed clinic and eventually they reached a point of exhaustion and gave up on crying. This was very very hard to watch. I helped assist the doctor as best I knew how in stitching up David's head as I was praying, while the only nurse that worked there continued to watch after and care for Solomon, who was stitched first. Perhaps I could forgive that the numbing medicine was not distributed evenly into their wounds, and that the medical care was sub par, to say the least, but I will never forget the grace I had to ask for in order to give it to the doctor for his lack of compassion toward the two little boys. Upon asking for this, God immediately reminded me of the abundant grace He gives to me. All I could mutter was for God to give me wisdom to know what to do. Being the only one with any medical experience on the team, I prayed for God's grace, wisdom, and complete reliance on Him when having to give educated guesses on the outcome of it all, when asked. At one point while going from room to room between the two boys, I was so overwhelmed with grief watching them scream in pain knowing this would never happen in the States, that I took my best friend aside and broke down in her arms with feelings of helplessness. I knew the injuries themselves(gashes through their skin to their skulls several inches long) were not necessarily life threatening, but risks for infection and brain trauma, if present, certainly were. Especially with the sterility, medicine, and medical equipment lacking in this clinic.

The plane ride back and next several days were very very difficult for me. Our team did not have a chance to really debrief, although we got close quickly after going through a number of unexpected events. A few of those consisted of: blowing two tires on the way to the airport, taking a detour into a remote village to avoid a police raid where a couple of people were murdered, and missing our original flight. We could not confuse our efforts with God's faithful hand as He provided outlets to every adversary we encountered out of our control.

I used the debriefing materials given to me by our leader and with God's grace and kindness, I sorted through many feelings and thoughts. I don't know if many of my questions will ever get answered here on earth, but God has met me and comforted me and shown me what is most needed in places where there are not churches on every corner. The Gospel of grace and Truth is needed. His gospel is hope when nothing else can offer it. I felt confirmation on this trip to eventually be involved with full time orphanage type ministry in poor places with many disparities. I recognized my responsibility and the gift of the Gospel I have to share with others. I learned to trust God in a different way. I learned and am still learning much more than I can articulate at this point. I am so grateful to God for this. I have been changed forever, and pray that only by God's grace, my actions will reflect the change. I also pray that any cynicism I have towards the blessed America we live in will be replaced with an abundant love and grace to offer people I encounter every day.


Prayer is a powerful powerful thing.

Nov. '08 Haiti Trip, part 1

I have never been on a missions trip where I was as impacted as I was on this one. I had the opportunity to travel to an orphanage in Haiti with a team of 11 other people. Compared to a one month trip I took, these four days seemed like several weeks. The purpose of the trip was to love on kids in the orphanage(sponsored by a mission's organization here in the U.S. called Hopegivers) and to paint a couple of "rooms." To keep this "short," I'll refrain from details about how I ended up going on the trip, facts about Haiti being the poorest country in the western hemisphere, and other incomprehensible, saddening facts etc. I will skip straight to the parts of the story where my heart was grabbed. This is my personal story with my personal feelings, however cliche they may sound at times. I will leave out a lot that I have shared with my Father in heaven on numerous occasions in order to get through the stories without my emotions drowning them out....

While checking out the different rooms in the orphanage, I was on the bottom floor looking out through barred windows at a group of kids from a nearby village. I noticed a little girl probably 6-8 months old who was naked and dirty, bent over crying on the ground. Any human instinct would be to go pick her up and wipe her down and attempt to offer some comfort to this baby. So that's what my best friend and I did. She was soothed and resting in our arms when it was all over with :). I have no clue where her guardians were and assume one of the kids around, none most likely over the age of 8, was carrying her around for the day. That is a picture forever engraved in my mind. One of them..

After looking at land purchased for a new school, we walked to a nearby village full of mud huts. The kind you see on the discovery channel or those commercials that don't seem real. We walked up to a hut the size of a living room here in the States, a home to 10+ people there. Some clothed, some not. There was a little girl, without any clothes anywhere from 1 1/2 to 3 years old in the distance standing in a field crying. Everyone else was standing in between two huts with other children around. The children were so thirsty, they would sheepishly point to the few water bottles we had and we would pour it into their mouths. As we started walking back to the truck, the Lord broke my heart to the point I was crying. It was at this point, I was plagued with both guilt and thankfulness for living in the U.S. The Lord continues to graciously work out these feelings. :)

Those are just a couple of stories that gripped me. This last story I will share was rather traumatic, but a privilege to be a part of, as it helped increase my faith and reliance upon the Lord tremendously. About 20 minutes after crossing the Dominican border and arriving at our hotel, Willeo, the guy over the orphanage and school, came walking viciously up to us(a good friend and I) saying two of the kids had been hurt badly. He said they might even be "near death...."

biscuits

I just ate 5 biscuits with pear preserves! This has got to stop.

awwww man

I recently(like 2 hours ago) dropped the book I was reading in the bathtub when I was relaxing. How sad? It's drying now, well kind of.

I just wanted to mention by the way, that the girl mentioned in the previous post (Andrea Neal was her name) left her medical form from the ambulance in my car...with all her info on it. :) I might be able to get in touch with her...hmmm, ya never know... :)

READ BELOW, I JUST POSTED IT!

Hope for the hopeless

So I was in Wilmington for my cousin's wedding this past week-end. It was a blast to say the least, from kickball with the wedding party(most of us) on Thursday, to giggling at night with new friends, to the beauty of a God-centered marriage on the actual day. BUT... I have a story...

Thursday night after kickball, we dispersed to our destinations with a couple of pit stops in between. For my sister and I, it was starbucks(I wanted to do some reading, she needed to work on the powerpoint for the rehearsal dinner) and for our sister-in-law(SIL) it was Ross...or so we thought. I picked up the phone to let my SIL in her car behind us (about 4 cars back) know to turn left at the next light. We were turning right as she started saying someone got in a wreck. To spare all the details, it was not a pretty sight so I went ahead and turned as planned into the shopping center and parked across from the wreck. Only to find out the girl who slammed into another girl was "stuck" in her car. After I saw nobody but one lady was heading her way, I just got out and approached her as well. We managed to get her out of the car(which is not what you should do medically but the other lady who was a retired nurse insisted we move her because the car was "going to blow up") and carried her to the shoulder of the busiest road in Wilminton(college road).

To spare you from even more details, I'll fast forward to the part where my heart got way involved. After doing my nursing assessment while holding this girl who was pretty hurt on the side of the road, and after her not going in the ambulance to the hospital, I was so sad for her as she explained her situation in a "im in shock and despair" sort of way. She ended up sitting with me in my car(with the heat full blast) and I was praying this whole time mind you, for strength to take the opportunity to share God's love, wisdom, and to hold my tears back as she was not crying herself. You see...

After a few questions and more details I won't go into, I found out she used to be a surg tech, she hurt her leg previously in February and does not have medical insurance, and she found out her mom has breast cancer THAT VERY DAY. All I managed to do for her in the short time we had in my car was listen, tell her how sorry I was, and pray a prayer of hope(I decided that's more so what it was). I cannot imagine her situation, how hopeless she must feel, but I know the God in whom I trust and serve is mighty to save and gives hope to the hopeless...so that's where I turned. I wish I could say she gave her life to the Lord in the midst of her physical and emotional pain, but that probably wasn't the time...if nothing else, the Lord sure used the situation to give me a heart check and remember no matter the circumstances, I know that as a child of God, I have hope.

"and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:5

"He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." 2 Corinthians 1:10

I don't have a clever title for this post. :)

I didn't put a title because I have so many topics I want to talk about since it's been awhile. So here we go!...

Lately, I've been working a lot, a whole lot. Or maybe it seems that way because it's my only obligation right now...I pretty much work and then hang out with people of all kinds...all the time.

My job is great. I am so grateful to be a labor and delivery nurse...what a privilege. I mean who doesn't want to be at the first birthday ever? :) I don't really know how people used to give birth without a nurse around...gotta have a great husband I guess. ha. I'm about to transition to the "high risk" labor and delivery unit and I am scared outta my mind considering the dangerousness of the drugs I will be administering. But I will learn and it will be alright.

So I hang out with people a lot as I mentioned before, it has almost taken the place of how much I read but I'm trying to get back there because I learn so much from books. Which brings me to my next point. I'm reading this book by K.P. Yohannan called "The Road to Reality," and I won't give a book review right now but there are two sweet sentences that have jumped out at me as the Lord has used this book already to convict me and challenge me to die to myself and my fleshly desires.

This first quote is the author defending the truth about what Christianity in the western world is like today and a response to a believer who would say something like, "Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven" or "lets be careful not to put people on guilt trips or teach legalism." Now I am guilty as charged with thinking that sometimes, because I am prone to get grace confused with tolerance very easily. But Yohannan's response was this...and its good...

"We have to question a Christianity that has so distorted the gospel of grace that a simple call to obedience is mistaken for legalism."

How 'bout them apples?

I always appreciate new insight on issues such as grace and legalism like I said before because I swing to both extremes from time to time. Anyway, I feel like I have indulged in hedonism lately, finding pleasure in pleasure itself rather than Christ. Whether it be fun or food or internet, or people, nothing is more satisfying than Christ and the peace He floods my heart with. May I keep learning how to die to my flesh and take up my Cross and follow Christ, however rocky or smooth the road may be.

I'll stop here before I wanna tell the story about how someone offended me the other day and it was all I could do to not feel immediately judged when I said what college I went to...random, I know. But it happened...k that's all. :)

The Race

I literally just got back from a 1 3/4 mile run with a friend of mine. I told her I want to start running(again) and get back in shape while I can. Well, I just met this friend a week ago and we've had dinner once since then where the Lord was certainly present in our conversations. All this to say, she happens to be a runner and has been for many years. I didn't really know the extent of it until just now...she was a wonderful coach/encourager/and drill sergeant(sp?) while I dragged a footstep behind gasping for each breath praying deep down I would survive the next 1/2 mile without passing out.

Along the way, she would speak(I just knodded) great scriptures of running the good race, persevering to the end, etc. in effort to inspire me. Although my entire body felt like it was giving out, falling apart, and after my complaining when I had the breath to do so, I really was reminded of how life here on earth is merely a race, a journey and that giving up is just not an option. Ever. That's about it. More important than my Words, the inspired apostle Paul writes alot about this in his many letters to the church, etc. and I encourage you to check it out.

God is good, I am thankful for the health to be able to walk, run, and just live. He is the giver of all things good and is ultimately our very breath and next heartbeat. So keep running the race my fellow brothas and sistas. :)