The Race

I literally just got back from a 1 3/4 mile run with a friend of mine. I told her I want to start running(again) and get back in shape while I can. Well, I just met this friend a week ago and we've had dinner once since then where the Lord was certainly present in our conversations. All this to say, she happens to be a runner and has been for many years. I didn't really know the extent of it until just now...she was a wonderful coach/encourager/and drill sergeant(sp?) while I dragged a footstep behind gasping for each breath praying deep down I would survive the next 1/2 mile without passing out.

Along the way, she would speak(I just knodded) great scriptures of running the good race, persevering to the end, etc. in effort to inspire me. Although my entire body felt like it was giving out, falling apart, and after my complaining when I had the breath to do so, I really was reminded of how life here on earth is merely a race, a journey and that giving up is just not an option. Ever. That's about it. More important than my Words, the inspired apostle Paul writes alot about this in his many letters to the church, etc. and I encourage you to check it out.

God is good, I am thankful for the health to be able to walk, run, and just live. He is the giver of all things good and is ultimately our very breath and next heartbeat. So keep running the race my fellow brothas and sistas. :)

Pausing to Think

The past few days have been nice. I actually had 3 days off in a row so I took them and headed to the beach to visit my cousin and his fiancee. They had to work while I was there, which gave me a chance to go to the Carolina shores and replay the whirlwind of a month it's been in my head. I was able to enjoy some R&R, and finally finish the spiritually thought provoking book I've been reading since May. :) We had some great fellowship together when they got home, whether it was grabbing ice-cream after dinner or going to watch my cousin play city league softball. It was encouraging and I was once again reminded of the blessing of a close family.

Last week I saw some crazy stuff at work and it scared me, but more so it stirred questions in me. Like, why are infants allowed to be taken home to abusive parents, alcoholics, drug abusers, etc. My heart wants to take the baby and run, but it breaks just as much for the hurting, broken, parents. I have always been kind of a people pleaser, or maybe just really easy to get along with. I have strong opinions mainly about spiritual things and everything else I could care less about most of the time. I want to help people, whether it be to solve all their problems, give them all I have, or whatever else, I am willing to do it. This can often lead me to be self-righteous and prideful especially in my thinking if I'm not careful to check my motives beforehand. To think that anyone needs me or what I have to offer, above Christ in me, is foolish. The bottom line is it's not about me, it's about the work Christ accomplished through the Cross for me and the abundant life He's made available to me. I want people to know that more than anything.

Now I'm back from vacation, and it's back to work I go tomorrow while my gracious parents will be moving me in to my new apartment(dad will put my bed together and mom will probably do some cleaning, etc.). It should be a fun, work-filled week-end!

Overwhelming joys

Well, life as I know it is going just great. When I consider the bigger picture, aside from the common everyday hassles of living in America, I am about as blessed a daughter of a King as any. God has consistently lavished his unconditional love and grace on me through this transitional phase of life even though I have not been as faithful to Him along the way.

I have recently met two really really cool girls to live with for at least the next year which has cut down on my living costs tremendously(so my whiny attitude has gotten better, ie, the last post). I really think they will be wonderful roommates and that mutual edification in our walks with the Lord will be of great priority in our household. That makes me excited.

The hospital is going well, I'm nowhere near starting my full time position strictly on L&D, but I'm learning the ropes of women's services(and boy are they long ropes!) slowly but surely. I have enjoyed every moment thus far. I still feel like I know absolutely nothing. :)

It is very nice to see that this is exactly where the Lord intended on me being, although it's completely different than what I had in mind, to a degree. There is no greater feeling than totally trusting in the Lord and feeling the peace that He gives in return. The Lord is continuing to restore my heart and love for Him as I filter through the unnecessary feelings, emotions, and baggage I've carried for the past year. I have learned not to put so much trust in myself, but rather in God's amazing grace and mercies that are new each day. I am looking for a church now that will continuously point me to the Cross and keep the Gospel at the forefront of every ministry, service, etc. In time, I hope to get involved in missions around the Greenville area as well. I've met some great, encouraging people along the way and hope to meet many more!

I'm eventually going to join a gym, or something...haha.

I am still nowhere near being settled here, but I have a decent jump start and in the midst of a wacky schedule and lots of PB&J's, I am finding my secure source of contentment and foundation in the Word. To God be the glory and praise for the blessings and grace He has lavished on me the past few months.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Real Life

...is expensive. Dag. I feel bad saying that because I am so blessed, but I'm beginning to see all the hassle with being completely independent. I think I may be alone in the way I feel about living as cheap as possible in order to put money in more important things/people/kingdom work, etc. but that doesn't really bother me.

I'm trying to find a cheap apartment where I will be working for two years and getting my masters(Lord willing) and I've come to realize there is no such thing! Awesome. Seriously, all I need is a bed. Maybe after I start working long 12 hr. shifts I will understand when people say, "yea but you will want somewhere to call home, a nice place to just relax." I hope I do understand, because until then even $500.00 seems expensive just for me to live somewhere when I don't really need an entire place as a single individual. Just because I will have money for my basic needs doesn't mean it has to be spent for them.

Haha...yea I am open to a change of mind, I'm not 100% stuck in my ways, I guess I just have a different mentality. This all will change when I have a family someday, but my needs are very basic and I just needed to vent about how all I need is just a place to sleep(which may or may not be worth $500.00 once I start work). :)

I gotta start spilling my thoughts more, its been awhile!

I am offically...

an RN. :) Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

The difference between face and hands

This past week has been a good one to say the least. I am learning and re-learning truths that are pertinent to God's children. But mostly God is fulfilling His promise that if we seek Him, He will be found. In the presence of a Holy God, there is only one place for us to take...on our knees/faces in humility. Not to say that you have to have your physical body in those positions, but mentally taking the position one might take before a King. Anywho, Isaiah 33:6 is what challenged me to lay aside the lie that God's presence is hard to find in the midst of difficult times. *Disclaimer: There are so many other verses that claim the promise of God's presence being with us, continuously. Check them out! It says:

He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.

So I started thinking...yes, yes and yes. I would love to possess all of these TREASURES in increasing measures, so I must pray for a fear of the Lord. Indeed I have, and with that prayer, I got so much more. God continues to reveal His Holiness to me which births a fear of Him like none otha' and ultimately results in praise. I mean seriously, no matter what we're going through, God deserves praise. I know this, but sometimes I don't feel like it. But when God reveals himself and brings you to that point where you recognize His character and face above whatever he is or is not doing in your life, the fleeting decision to worship or not vanishes and there is an automatic, natural desire to praise and adore the King of our salvation.

The past few months, my gaze has been searching, longing to be set on the Lord...and it was to a limit. I was simply seeking His hand rather than his face...

Truth

God is doing a lot in my heart right now, including battling for kingship with the idols within, unfortunately. Confession, forgiveness, and sanctification are a sweet sweet thing. God is so faithful, I can always rejoice in the Lord. And again I say, Rejoice! Anyway, I will blog one day of all that is going on right now. But until then, below are song lyrics from Casting Crowns, and I think they're phenomenal...

What this world needs is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind; another two bit politician peddling lies; another three ring circus society. What this world needs is not another sign waving super saint that's better than you; another ear pleasing candy man afraid of the truth; another prophet in an Armani suit.

What this world needs is a Savior who will rescue, a Spirit who will lead, a Father who will love them in their time of need. A Savior who will rescue, a Spirit who will lead, a Father who will love. That's what this world needs.

What this world needs is for us to care more about the inside than the outside; have we become so blind that we can't see; God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt. What this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance; blending in so well that people can't see the difference; and it's the difference that sets the world free.

People aren't confused by the Gospel, they are confused by us. Jesus is the only way to God, but we are not the only way to Jesus. This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie, my denomination, or my translation of the Bible. They just need Jesus! We can be passionate about what we believe, but we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel. Because we are slowing it down. Jesus is going to save the world; but maybe the best thing we can do is just get out of the way.

Jesus is our Savior, that's what this world needs! Father's arms around you, that's what this world needs! That's what this world needs.