Real Life

...is expensive. Dag. I feel bad saying that because I am so blessed, but I'm beginning to see all the hassle with being completely independent. I think I may be alone in the way I feel about living as cheap as possible in order to put money in more important things/people/kingdom work, etc. but that doesn't really bother me.

I'm trying to find a cheap apartment where I will be working for two years and getting my masters(Lord willing) and I've come to realize there is no such thing! Awesome. Seriously, all I need is a bed. Maybe after I start working long 12 hr. shifts I will understand when people say, "yea but you will want somewhere to call home, a nice place to just relax." I hope I do understand, because until then even $500.00 seems expensive just for me to live somewhere when I don't really need an entire place as a single individual. Just because I will have money for my basic needs doesn't mean it has to be spent for them.

Haha...yea I am open to a change of mind, I'm not 100% stuck in my ways, I guess I just have a different mentality. This all will change when I have a family someday, but my needs are very basic and I just needed to vent about how all I need is just a place to sleep(which may or may not be worth $500.00 once I start work). :)

I gotta start spilling my thoughts more, its been awhile!

I am offically...

an RN. :) Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

The difference between face and hands

This past week has been a good one to say the least. I am learning and re-learning truths that are pertinent to God's children. But mostly God is fulfilling His promise that if we seek Him, He will be found. In the presence of a Holy God, there is only one place for us to take...on our knees/faces in humility. Not to say that you have to have your physical body in those positions, but mentally taking the position one might take before a King. Anywho, Isaiah 33:6 is what challenged me to lay aside the lie that God's presence is hard to find in the midst of difficult times. *Disclaimer: There are so many other verses that claim the promise of God's presence being with us, continuously. Check them out! It says:

He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.

So I started thinking...yes, yes and yes. I would love to possess all of these TREASURES in increasing measures, so I must pray for a fear of the Lord. Indeed I have, and with that prayer, I got so much more. God continues to reveal His Holiness to me which births a fear of Him like none otha' and ultimately results in praise. I mean seriously, no matter what we're going through, God deserves praise. I know this, but sometimes I don't feel like it. But when God reveals himself and brings you to that point where you recognize His character and face above whatever he is or is not doing in your life, the fleeting decision to worship or not vanishes and there is an automatic, natural desire to praise and adore the King of our salvation.

The past few months, my gaze has been searching, longing to be set on the Lord...and it was to a limit. I was simply seeking His hand rather than his face...

Truth

God is doing a lot in my heart right now, including battling for kingship with the idols within, unfortunately. Confession, forgiveness, and sanctification are a sweet sweet thing. God is so faithful, I can always rejoice in the Lord. And again I say, Rejoice! Anyway, I will blog one day of all that is going on right now. But until then, below are song lyrics from Casting Crowns, and I think they're phenomenal...

What this world needs is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind; another two bit politician peddling lies; another three ring circus society. What this world needs is not another sign waving super saint that's better than you; another ear pleasing candy man afraid of the truth; another prophet in an Armani suit.

What this world needs is a Savior who will rescue, a Spirit who will lead, a Father who will love them in their time of need. A Savior who will rescue, a Spirit who will lead, a Father who will love. That's what this world needs.

What this world needs is for us to care more about the inside than the outside; have we become so blind that we can't see; God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt. What this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance; blending in so well that people can't see the difference; and it's the difference that sets the world free.

People aren't confused by the Gospel, they are confused by us. Jesus is the only way to God, but we are not the only way to Jesus. This world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie, my denomination, or my translation of the Bible. They just need Jesus! We can be passionate about what we believe, but we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel. Because we are slowing it down. Jesus is going to save the world; but maybe the best thing we can do is just get out of the way.

Jesus is our Savior, that's what this world needs! Father's arms around you, that's what this world needs! That's what this world needs.

Mountains Beyond Mountains

I'm reading this book by Tracy Kidder called Mountains Beyond Mountains(it has won a Pulitzer prize). It's rocking my face and has been for quite some time. I recommend it to anyone who has a heart(this book will capture it) or is interested in health care in other countries. It's about the life of a Dr. by the name of Paul Farmer, and I've never read about anyone who is more of an advocate for the poor, namely, the Haitian poor of Cange. I want the passion this man has along with other characteristics I think are admirable. Really, I want a passion to serve others like him(in any capacity)...except with the Gospel of Christ at the forefront of all I do and being the purpose of all "I do" in this life.

I want to give like he gives to those really in need with wisdom and faith as my motivation. That's all, it's a really good book. Really.

One day...

Circumstances..."nothin' new under the sun!"

I have never been made so aware of the ongoing spiritual battles taking place among believers as I am right now.  In my own life, the past year it has been a very real battle and I've seen it too in the lives of those I love so dearly.  When I say battle, I mean battle.  I mean that there is actual armor(Eph 6) involved, but mostly and obviously, something very very worth battling over is at steak.  I throw in spiritual because that's just what it is if you are a believer...a spiritual battle.  Satan fighting against all that God has called you to be, and who Christ is IN you.

The bottom line is, satan is out to steal, kill, and destroy.  And he will try his best to do that in every and any circumstance in our lives.  If not, then I would certainly question the depth of someone's walk with the Lord, and I'm saying that to myself as well.  I hope no one misunderstands that sentence...but anyway.  If satan sees no threat of God having control in all of our circumstances, then there is no need for him to try to confuse or deceive, etc. us.  The Christian walk is not easy! haha(insert, "well thank you captain obvious!" here)...I'm typing this out for myself!  The great news is, the victory has been won in Christ, He accomplished and defeated any stronghold satan tries to get us with on the Cross.  Therefore, our Power lies in the Cross, our focus should remain on the Cross and our hope in Christ.  He is our refuge and ever present help in time of need.  He is so faithful, even when we are not and nothing can separate us from His love!  What then, shall we say to this, if Christ is for us, who can be against us(Rom.)?

Okay, I got way off of what I wanted to blog...it happens, haha!  As a constant reminder for me, it feels good to vent and remind myself of the truth that when battles arise, it is an opportunity for Christ to be glorified in us.  I must remember that if my gaze is ever on the Lord, where my hope and salvation come from, I can make it through anything satan brings my way...whatever poopy circumstances are surrounding!  It is so much easier to give thanks when focused on Christ and His character, rather than on what we may be going through.  He is always on the throne, and His purposes will forever be fulfilled in His children when they are seeking Him in the midst of "suffering."  I'm no expert in this subject, there are a million books and people who can communicate these awesome truths from God's Word much more effectively...there's nothing new under the sun...but it feels good to just let it out! :)  

I'm done for now, I have a couple of assignments due tomorrow and I think my Mcdonalds wi-fi time will run out soon!  FYI: I only came here for the vanilla iced coffee...it's OFF THE HOOK, but I refuse to be an addict of caffeine! ;)

April Showers bring May Flowers!

So it rained today. Not all day, just when I was getting ready to get out of my car would it start pouring :) and then it would get sunny again once I was inside. But it didn't bother me much, it was a good day to be comfy in a book store for a lil bit of studying and playing some practical jokes on people.

That's right, today my friends is April fools day... my favorite holiday. I never did claim this for myself, but my best friend finally deemed it as such when year after year, I would get her really really good. I tried today, but seeing how we were not together this year and it was noon before I attempted, she was on guard and ready to not believe anything I said. Oh well, I'm a little past my prime I guess. BUT, I did get one friend(who I don't talk to as often as I'd like) by telling her I met this guy and was sure he was the one, etc. She fell hard and I laughed hard. I got my sister and another friend as well(not on the same joke of course...they know nothing's new in that area) :). My mom, she's so easy. I got her twice in a row after she exclaimed (like everyone I 'fooled' today), "I was telling myself not to believe anything you say today and I fell for it anyway!" I love those words, haha. I got one of my best friend's boyfriend by telling him I was moving there and got a job, etc. He didn't like me too much for a few minutes after that. I got one friend by telling her I got my licensed suspended for a certain number of days, but no jail time for the awful, and I mean awful, ticket I got in January. That could have been a very real outcome(I'm still waiting to hear from my laywer) so of course she believed it and hated me for making her feel bad for me! Anyway, the list goes on but I absolutely love playing jokes and pranks on people...it was a good day.

I must warn you though, don't let this twisted mindset of mine once a year be confused with making fun of people, I absolutely HATE THAT...especially if someone is trying to make themselves look better. K, just had to clear that up!